Caveman Diet Articles

The Stone Age Caveman Diet

The Prehistoric Man/Modern Day Man Connection - Page Three

Caveman Logic #6 - The Billy-Crystal Syndrome: It is better to look marvelous than to feel marvelous.

Men in fur were very attractive to the Cave Woman. According to fictitious data which I have carefully collected in my mind, in the majority of situations, it wasn't the man that drew the attraction, rather his fur-clad body.

A revolt ensured, let by Jane Aip. Soon, all the women in the nomadic cave area began discarding their fig leaves for luxurious fur objects which they would wash in the stream when they met for the Weekly Cave Woman's Social. Bronto Lip & Smoked Salmon Pate` were generally served between tender Leaves of Grape, specifically prepared for this event. Jane could cook!

Cavewoman Logic #1 - Cavewoman cannot live by socials alone.

The healing process between Caveman & Cavewoman took off with lightening speed. Love stretched forth, and with it came nights where the Cave Couples enjoyed juicy roasted meats together in their little love nest, as well as racks of fatted lamb cooked on heavy sticks, and finger-licking chicken - a recipe contrived by Jane Aip (now Jane Aip Sanders via a hasty prenuptial).

From there, you can imagine what transpired.

Well, there you have it - the connection between Prehistoric Man and Modern Day Man. But about weight loss? We now realize that our bodies were made to meet the ways of the Old World - for endurance, agility and all that rubbage.

And we now know that weight gain ensued because a) our activity levels went kapoot, and b) our eating habits shifted from gardens of green and roasted meats TO gardens of green smothered in ranch dressings and meats marinated in Papa Joe's Lard-Filled Dipping Sauces.

Fine. We're more apt to be fat than thin these days - so what can we do about that? And who cares about dinosaurs anyway? Of course, Jurassic Park was pretty whiffy.

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